Harold: Okay today we have Kamikaze with us. Thank you for agreeing to do this. I know you're about to have the biggest match of your life in a few days, are you nervous, anxious? How you holding up?

Kamikaze: Like a tostito in a jar of salsa in summer... while in the fridge

Harold: Ummm okkaaayy. Well... I like to get everyone's take on their past. Can you tell us where and when you got started and how you ended up in SFT?

Kamikaze: Well... I started out in ECW... where I won the Hardcore Title in my first match! Well I had to share it but I still won it and won it from that bad bugger, too. Then I went to UCW... that collapsed. Then I made my own wrestling. CRAZY MOTHER FUCKERS INC! Yeah, that didn't even last past the first show... I don't know why. Then I made my way over to Death Valley Wrestling... where I met Fugitive. He was one cool cat man. He showed me SFT. So when DVW died I came here. Joined No Authority, was kicked out of that, and won the TV Title. Retired, went to some indy feds, and now I'm back... you silly water SLAPPER you!

Harold: You seem to be a little on the wierd side. Is that intentional or are you just really wierd? And have you ever spent any time in a mental institution?

Kamikaze: THE STUTION! I remember the stution! I was there before... the-bitch-who-may-not-be-allowed-to-breath started working with me. She helped me enough that I was able to leave the stution. I gots really good... but then the wedding happened and now things are a bit of a blur. I can't remember things or say them as clearly as I used to when I was seeing the-bitch-who-may-not-be-allowed-to-breath.

Harold: Oh... okay... a bit uncomfortable now. Okay. Kamikaze, where exactly are you from, your name suggests Japan but our readers still want to know where you were born and where you grew up?

Kamikaze: It was a cold rainy afternoon. I was born from a barn, in a cow, on the nice small little island of Miya Jima. How a barn gave birth or how there was a cow that was big enough to hold a barn in it they're still not sure about to this day. But I was adopted by the local Russian couple who owned the barn. I was then instructed in ways of communism and the evil of America. But being the rebelious person I am I ran away and was adopted by another family. They loved their sheep. More than I could and was sent away again. I was then adopted by a nice couple named Theodore Kennedy and Mrs. Robinson. Both native Japanese citizens of course... at least that's what I remember happening anyway. At either rate all three families lived on Miya Jima so I have a nice affection for my home town...

Harold: I know you recently sufferred a heartbreak, so I won't want to talk bout that, but lets talk bout the World Title situation. Why is it becoming so hard for anyone to hold it more than a week or two? In your honest opinion, of course.

Kamikaze: Well I personally think that people aren't on the levels that the greats like Damien Sparks and Brandi James are on. I means people are stills good but not that good. We're still waiting for the next big legend to really spark the World Title... I thinks. I hope to be that legend. As long as I get to make monkeys do jumping jacks anyway.

Harold: I don't really put Brandi on my list of greats of greats. What'd she hold the World Title for three weeks before she turned traitor? I'd think the greats for holding the title a long time would be Dave Steeles, Mad Doggs, Nirvana. Sparks to my recollection didn't hold it much longer than Brandi. But to each his own. Do you think you'd be any better than the last few World Champs?

Kamikaze: Wells I'd just like to clarifies my last statement first. I felt they were good wrestlers they just made bad business decisions. That better?

Harold: Much better.

Kamikaze: But yes! I think I'll be better than the last couple champs. At first I didn't really respect Cypher expecting him to lose it and be done in the World Title situation. But he's managed to hold it so he's got my respect. I still think I'll do better than him. But I will acknowledge that he's a decent champ. But the others? I mean come on they lost it on their first defences! SO pathetic and degrading to the title. The title deserves more than that... You hear that worldy? I LOVE YOU! I'll treat you better than those freaks! I'm coming to save you from the dragon in the tower! Just wait a little bit longer!

Harold: Well Havoc would be one of those one week holders and you he have some history and there is certainly no love lost? Who do you think will be easier to pin Havoc or Cypher? Or should we not discuss in ring strategy?

Kamikaze: Havoc played a part in the wedding incident. He he... get it? Wedding Crashers, Wedding Singer, Wedding Planner, Wedding Incident? Get it?!

Harold: You're not all there are you, partner? You still play with rubber duckies in the tub dontcha?

Kamikaze: HEY! This is my interview I'm asking the questions! Now, how do you feel about people like Brickcity B and other rookies kissing Harold's ass to try and do better in the company?

Harold: Do you need your meds or something? I'd suggest you take one if you got them.

Kamikaze: When the-bitch-who-may-not-be-allowed-to-breath left she took the pills with her. Which was horrible cause there was this one pill that tasted like syrup! It was soo good!

Harold: Okay we're getting off track. Why are you in SFT? What is your true ultimate goal?

Kamikaze: Well the first time I came to SFT I was just here to get paid. But this time? This time when I came back I set my sights on the World Title and have focused on that entirely. That's why my first match was in the Lethal Lottery when I got back.

Harold: How do you get prepared for a match? Physically and... um... mentally.

Kamikaze: Physically? Well I take a nice bath in dehydrated milk, then I work out for five minutes in the Lady's locker room, after that I jog around the arena once before I head out through the curtain. All the while I'm reading Steven Hawkings' "A Brief History of Time" to get my mind into the game.

Harold: Okay stop. When anyone starts talking Hawkings, it's time to call it a day. Thank you for doing for doing what is without a doubt my wierdest interview ever...

Kamikaze: BUT! You completely avoided all of my questions! You're completely destroying my interview! What the hell! Oh well... I guess we'll call this a wrap. Thank you Harold for doing this interview. I guess we'll just have to wait and see how I do on War... SHOUT OUT TO MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER SHADOW!!!