( The lights in the arena dim and then fade completely out. Suddenly two huge, gold lightning bolts strike the sides of the stage. Blue pyro goes off from the points of impact and move to the center of the stage to meet in one giant explosion. "Swan Dive" by (hed) P.E. begins to blare over the sound system. Red strobe lights then begin to flash about the arena. Just before the song picks up, you can hear a voice say... )

"In Shawn We Trust... Mortal..."

( Followed by an extremely cocky chuckle. The crowd rises to their feet with horrendous boos as they know who is to come. "The Answer" Shawn Walsh emerges from the backstage area wearing a black, leather jacket and a pair of black sunglasses. He has on no shirt and wears a pair of baggy, crimson pants. )

Chimpo: Now on his way to the ring... From Jacksonville, Florida... "The Answer" SHAWN WALSH!!!!

( Walsh smirks and struts down to the ring, making obscene gestures at the fans, causing them go even more insane with hatred. Walsh reaches the ring and jumps up onto the apron. He chuckles and paces back and forth for a moment before leaping over the top rope and into the ring. He climbs the turnbuckle and raises his arms to the crowd, getting even more boos. He blows sarcastic kisses out to his "fans". Walsh jumps down and strips himself of his jacket. He throws his glasses towards the first row of the arena, in an attempt to hit - and hopefully injure - a fan. )

The camera pans around shots of the crowd before we abruptly cut to a corridor in the backstage area, where we can see SFT Interviewer Chimpo The Chimp standing with a microphone in his hand/paw outside of a door which has a plaque bearing the words “Christian Cage” nailed to it.

Chimpo: This is Chimpo The Chimp reporting from just outside of Christian Cage’s private locker room, I’m going to try to get some final insights from The Franchise ahead of his huge match with Seth Dryden tonight, with Number 1 Contendership status for the SFT World Heavyweight Championship at stake.

Chimpo knocks on the door, and after a few seconds it is flung open by a very pissed-off looking Christian Cage, clad in his full wrestling gear and presumably in the middle of his pre-match warm-up, which by the sounds coming from inside the locker room appears to involve listening to Bon Jovi CDs at a deafening volume.

Christian Cage: What the fuck do you want, Monkey Boy?

Chimpo: I just wondered if we could get your thoughts on your match with Seth Dryden tonight?

Christian Cage: No you damn well couldn’t! Fuck off and take your goddamn generic questions with you!

With that, Cage slams the door in Chimpo’s face, prompting an angry response from the interviewing ape

Chimpo: Bon Jovi fucking sucks!

Suddenly realising that there’s half a chance that cage may have heard him, Chimpo quickly decides that his best option would be to make himself scarce, which he does by disappearing off down the corridor with the camera crew in hot pursuit as we return to Randy and John at ringside:

RW: Seems like focus is definitely not going to be a problem for Christian Cage tonight.

JC: He’s gonna need to be at his best to beat Seth Dryden. The IC Champion always manages to rise to the big occasions, and this certainly qualifies as that.

RW: OK folks, enough about Christian Cage for now, we’ll get back to him later on tonight. First though, time for our next big match here on Friday Night Inferno, and it’s time to get hardcore, although not the kind of hardcore action that John usually goes in for.

JC: Fuck you Randy. That’s right though folks, you might wanna put the kids to bed, because what we’re about to see may very well not be pretty. For once Randy, I’m not referring to your face when I say that.

RW: Focus on the match John; you’re not exactly Brad Pitt yourself. Anyways, this one sees Precious defending her SFT Hardcore Championship against the former multi-time World Champion, the self-professed “Lord Of SFT” himself, Nirvana.

JC: This is all set to be a really tough challenge for Precious. She showed the world exactly what she’s capable of when she stepped up to defeat Jason Jackson to win this belt in the first place, but she’s gonna have to step it up a few more notches if she wants to hold onto it.

RW: Is Precious up to the challenge? Let’s send it up to our Ring Announcer Jonathan Knight and find out.

Jonathan Knight: The following contest is scheduled for one fall with no time limit, and is for the Strike Fantasy Towers Hardcore Championship. Introducing first, the challenger. He stands 6’4’’ and weighs in tonight at 236lbs. He calls himself the Lord Of SFT, and hails from Osaka, Japan. He is NIRVANA!!!

Evolve Escape Devour

The crowd begins to shout as the arena goes black and pictures of a morgue appear on the striketron. Pictures of bodies ripped apart, bodies crawling with maggots, etc. As the fans begin to boo a light shines onto the ramp as the pictures on the jumbotron change to a big grey screen.

Hurt by Cash hits the pa as a beutiful image of a butterfly emerging from it's cacoon appears on the jumbotron. The arena is plunged into deep green which flashes into red every other second, than back into green. Images of babies being born and animals attacking other animals begint to appear on the jumbotron. First just a child walking, and than a bear attacking a wolf and ripping it's guts out. A sigh is sent out over the pa as a group of freakish humans appear from behind the curtain. Some have distorted and torn faces, but they all take spots at the side of the ramp way and bow.

"The Lord of SFT" appears on the jumbotron as Lord Nirvana walks from behin the curtains, dressed in a ceremonial robe. It's red and drags the ground behind him for a good ten feet. The crowd beings to boo, but most of them are in awe of him as he walks towards the ring with great stride. He has his trademark cane at his side, the tip sharpened into a spike. Around his neck is a huge swastika, covered in barbed wire. He smiles to the crowd with all the pizazze of a salesman, but with the personality of a shark. Comfortable, yet slightly unsettling images display on the jumbotron, Traditional families eating traditional dinners, watching traditional television, playing with traditional toys...but nobody looks happy. They all have a sullen-eyed look about them which underlies the true feelings inside of them. Jeff makes his way to the ring, spinning his cane, and nodding towards the fans, who, in turn, boo him. Climbing into the ring, he removes his robe, revealing his wrestling gear beneath it. He goes to the to the back turnbuckle and taunts the fans with his cane, which he drops outside the ring with his swastika. Before the match starts he puts his hands on the sides of his face and tears at the skin. He stops when the blood starts to appear on his hands and smiles as he holds his hands up for the bloodthirsty crowd. He licks the blood from his hands in one last act of sin.

Jonathan Knight: His opponent hails from Greenwich, Connecticut and weighs in at 135 lbs. She comes to the ring tonight as the reigning and defending Strike Fantasy Towers Hardcore Champion, PRECIOUS!!!

As ‘I’m good at being badd’ plays precious comes out with Sweetheart and Harold and she goes to the ring and she puts on leg on the ring then the other doing the splits and then slides under the tope rope as Sweetheart slowly gets in the ring and Harold watches Precious from behind. Precious takes the Hardcore Championship belt from around her waist and hands it to the referee as Nirvana brutally attacks her from behind to start the match.

RW: Nirvana isn’t wasting any time here. He obviously feels confident that he can end this one quickly.

JC: If he carries on like this, that confidence may be well founded.

Nirvana has Precious trapped in a corner and is nailing her almost at will with kicks and chops to both her head and torso, causing the Hardcore Champion to scream in pain. Credit to Precious though as she takes advantage of a momentary pause from Nirvana to deliver a solid slap to the challenger’s face which causes him to back up a step or two. Precious attempts to capitalise on her possible advantage with a dropkick out of the corner, but Nirvana has enough about him to simply step backwards out of the way, which leads to the Hardcore Champion crashing to the mat and then holding her back, in obvious pain.

Never one to miss an opportunity, Nirvana drags Precious back to her feet and whips her against the ropes, catching her with a back body drop as she bounces back which plants her squarely down onto her already-injured back.

RW: Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work out which part of Precious’ anatomy Nirvana has chosen to focus his attacks on, right John?

JC: Uh-huh, and I’m also pretty sure that it’s not the same part of her as I’m focusing on.

RW: Pervert.

At ringside, we see that both Harold and Sweetheart have picked up steel chairs and thrown them into the ring, presumably in hopes that the Hardcore Champion will be able to use one or both of these weapons to her advantage in this Anything-Goes environment. Unfortunately for them, though, Nirvana is by far the more alert of the two wrestlers, and so is able to make best use of the chairs by picking one up and slamming it squarely into the back of Precious, who is in a seated position on the mat. As Precious again grasps for her back, Nirvana swings for a home run and connects the chair squarely with Precious’ unprotected face, knocking her flat out on the mat. Nirv then places one of the chairs flat underneath Precious and puts the other one on top of her, covering her face and chest, before climbing to the top rope with his back to the ring.

RW: Looks like Precious is the meat in this particular sandwich, if Nirvana has his way.

JC: If Nirvana has his way, that sandwich will be a whole lot flatter in a few seconds than it is now.

Nirvana leaps backwards off of the turnbuckle with his always picture-perfect Sweet Rapture moonsault and he chest connects squarely with the chair placed across Precious’ torso, obviously causing considerable pain to both participants in the process. Despite the pain, Nirvana hooks the leg for the cover:

ONE! TWO!! THREE!!!

RW: He did it, we got ourselves a new Hardcore Champion, and that is one of the best performances that I’ve seen from Nirvana in a long, long time.

JC: He’s showed that he is still a major force in SFT with this victory, after a few disappointing results just lately.

The referee hands Nirvana his prize and raises his arm in victory as the new Hardcore Champion celebrates while “Hurt” once again beings to play.