TITANS
February 10th, 2004
The show opens.
The TNT theme hits the pa and the fans are going insane as the camera pans around the arena, we see signs that say “COMMISH SLUT MONKEY!” “SFT + REAL WORLD = RULES!” and “TNT > Everything Else”. As the pyro stops we go to ringside with Emily and Jake.
Emily: Hello every one and welcome to Tuesday Night Titans!
Jake: And this is the best show in SFT, and we are happy to be here.
Emily: Tonight we got a good show planed for you tonight.
Jake: And to make sure we get to special effects from those bastards backstage, we fucked with the network cards.
Emily: Booya! Good luck with getting Pac-Man to come out here tonight assholes.
Jake: So tonight we got nothing but asskickin!
Nick
Kincaid vs. Jordan Blayze
STANDARD
MATCH
Jake: It's time for match numero uno! Emily: Nick
Kincaid vs. Jordan Blayze! Suddenly, Jordan Blayze's theme music starts blaring over the
PA system, as the young rookie strolls out onto the ramp, he then walks down to the ring and gets in, and taunts the crows. Jake: Did you know that Jordan Blayze was in SFT before, a long
time ago? Emily: I did not. Jake: So didn't a lot of people. Nick
Kincaid's music hits as he comes out and goes down the ramp. He slaps a few high fives with the crowd, and slides in the ring. Emily: And this match is underway! Nick and Jordan tie up, Nick
Kincaid quickly whips Jordan against the ropes and gives him a back body drop. All of a sudden, "Got you by the Balls" by AC/C starts playing
on the PA. Emily: What the hell? Jake: He's not scheduled to wrestle now! SFT World Champion, Connor MacDaddy steps out onto the stage with
a microphone
and the World title. Jordan Blayze gets up and leans against the
ropes, taunting MacDaddy. Connor
MacDaddy: What kind of crap is this? Nick Kincaid takes advantage of Blayze's position and school
boys him for the pin.
1...
2...
3!
w
i n n e r = N I C K K I N C A I D !
segment_one
Connor
MacDaddy: Well, that was pathetic. Now, get out of my ring, I have something to say. Connor walks down to the ring and gets in, Nick and Jordan
don't move. Connor MacDaddy: What are you waiting for? Get the hell out of
the ring. This is my time! You are taking up my air time, get the hell out of here! Nick
Kincaid shrugs it off and laughs, he then exits the ring. Jordan stays, with a furious look on his face. Connor
MacDaddy: Ohhh, lookie here. We have a tough guy on our hands, come here Blayze. You want to be at the top, then do
it, take me out. Connor drops the microphone and opens his arms. He gestures
to Jordan to come attack him, Jordan runs at Connor, and Connor tosses him right out
of the ring. Connor picks up the mic. Connor MacDaddy: There. Run along. It's time that I
address an issue, that quite frankly, I've been avoiding. This whole idea of co-champions sickens me. I am the single best. I have defeated
Sean Lane. It is complete and utter crap, that I have to be known as only, a co-champion. Sean, I know you have some things on your
mind as well, so it's time the two champs meet, face to face, for the first time since New Beginnings. Come on out here, don't be shy. "Possum Kingdom" by The Toadies plays over the sound system, Sean Lane steps out on the ramp, with his
separate World Title. He comes down in the ring, and looks at Connor MacDaddy, about two inches from his face. Connor
MacDaddy: Take a few steps back Sean, I am not here to fight. I want to talk about this little situation. Sean
Lane: What about it? Connor MacDaddy: Well, we aren't exactly the golden couple. So I'll suggest something... you give up your half to me now, and I'll give you one last title shot, next week on Titans. Sean
Lane: Hell no. Connor MacDaddy: Okay.... what do you suggest? Sean
Lane: I suggest that you shut the hell up and hand over your half! The crowd erupts in cheers Connor
MacDaddy: Hehehe... real cute. Sean Lane: Connor, it's time for you to put up, or shut up! Connor
MacDaddy: Lane, I am not looking for a fight. I have to wrestler later tonight! Sean
Lane: What's this? The hardcore legend is chickening out? Connor
MacDaddy: Now you listen here! I am not chickening out! Crowd: Connor's a chicken, Connor's a chicken.... Sean
Lane: You hear that? What's a matter, baby gonna cry? Connor gets really pissed off and charges Lane, he tackles him down and starts punching him. Lane flips him over and starts punching back. Lane gets up and picks Connor up, and throws him against the ropes, and out of nowhere, BAM, The Taste of Sweetness on Connor MacDaddy. Lane gets up and looks down at Connor, and starts laughing. Emily: Looks like Sean Lane has the upper hand on this fued! Just then, XCW Members, Mike Zybala,
Dave Van Dam, Nirvana Wolfgang Von Frankenstein, and Hellraiser clear out from the back, and quickly
surround Lane in the ring. Lane swings at DVD, but Hellraiser quickly punches him down. They all crowd around and stomp Lane. Mike helps Connor to his feet, and Nirvana brings Lane to his feet, Connor kicks Lane in the gut and gives him the Big Mac! He grabs the World title and starts parading around the ring. Jake: YEAH! XCW rules! Emily: They are a bunch of cowards. SFW Members Dave Steel, Goldeneye, Doom, and Jack Jones all rush from the back. XCW sees them and exit the ring. And SFW stares down XCW, and Sean Lane slowly gets up, with some help of SFW. Lane looks angry, and he leaves the ring.
commercial_one
We show up at EB Games, where the EB Games guy is behind the counter.
EB Games Guy: Hello every one, I’m the EB Games Guy, here to tell you that…
Ego Smurf: THIS PLACE SUCKS!
EB Games Guy: Will some one get them the fuck out of here!
Another dude goes over to the X-box Section and grabs Ego Smurf and Throws him out of EB Games.
Take Two!
EB Games Guy: Hello every one, I’m the EB Games Guy, here to tell you that we here at EB Games…
Smigger the Black Smurf: SUCK DICK!
EB Games Guy: Oh for the love of god.
Another Dude walks over and grabs Smigger and throws him through the roof.
TAKE THREE!
EB Games Guy: Hello every one, I’m the EB Games Guy, here to tell you that we here at EB Game not only suck dick, but worship those Playstaion 2 assholes… who the fuck wrote this card?
SmurfMaster then drops the cards and starts laughing, Another dude then walks over and grabs SmurfMaster and throws him out of EB Games.
TAKE FOUR!
EB Games Guy: Hello every one, I’m the EB Games Guy, here to tell you that we here at EB Game…. Oh Fuck this, just come by our shit.
EB Games Narrator: Yes, Come buy our shit.
Dr
Xachary Briggs vs. Shaun Sizemore
TV TITLE MATCH
The scene comes back from commercials. Both eager competitors are waiting
in the ring.
Jake: It's a shame the fans at home couldn't see their entrances. Spectacular.
Emily: Yeah... but we have to cut time somehow. Last week's show ran over
two hours.
Jake: Two hours? RWA shows run at least three.
Emily: They're not on cable, though. We are.
Jake: Psh... whatever.
The attention is put back to the ring. The referee holds the Television Title in the air. After setting it aside, the opening bell rings. Sizemore and Briggs circle each other, then lock up Briggs wins the power struggles and lifts up Sizemore and brings him down with a brain buster.
1…
Sizemore kicks out and gets back to his feet, Briggs then gets back to his feet, and Sizemore knocks him back down with a close line, Briggs gets back up, but Sizemore knocks him back down with another close line, Briggs gets back up, and then Sizemore kicks him in the gut and hits a DDT. Sizemore goes for a pin.
1…
2…
Briggs Kicks out.
Emily: its back and forth here.
Jake: Rock it to the beat, and we took it to the floor, the Dj in the club spin the record back and forth…
Emily: ………………
Jake then takes his head phones off.
Jake: Um… What a great show!
Emily: Dean really needs to fire you.
Back in the ring Sizemore gets back to his feet grabs Briggs and drags him to the corner, Sizemore then grabs Briggs and hooks him for the “Sizemoreizer”. Sizemore then goes for the pin.
1…
2…
3…
Jake: yeehaw!
1...
2...
3!
w
i n n e r = S H A U N S I Z E M O R E !
Doom
vs. Allison
Johnson
ALL
OUT BEATINGS (AOB)
Doom is in the ring, Allison then walks down to the ring, but then King Kong comes out and eats Allison! King Kong then spits out her title and walks away.
Emily: God damn it I thought we fixed those god damn computers!
We then go backstage to find the special effects nerds laughing.
Jake: Bunch of assholes!
Doom then begins to laugh and exits the ring.
w
i n n e r = D O O M !
main_event
Connor
MacDaddy vs. Lucas Balkan
NON
TITLE - STANDARD MATCH
The camera spans the crowd after Connor makes
his entrance and his music fades. He is handing his beltto somebody outside and the bell is about to ring...and suddenly you hear...
"MY FRIENDS GOT A GIRLFRIEND AND HE HATES THAT BITCH!"
Slut Monkey walks down to the ring and refuses to
say anything until he sits down at the announcers table. He rings the bell himself as he sits down and
the action starts. The world champion rushes at Lucas Balkan and simple knocks him over. No special move...he pushes him. Connor proceeds to kick him on
the ground. Lucas takes two kicks to the mid-section before rolling away and then onto his feet.
Connor swings a punch and Lucas dodges and catches his hand... turning that grasp into a
neck breaker. Both men jump up to their feet and grasp again... and Connor tosses Lucas into the ropes. Lucas give him
a spear... and both men tumble right out of the ring. Lucas picks up Connor and tosses him into the
metal stairs outside. Before the ref starts the count Lucas tosses Connor back into the ring. When he slides
into the rings himself he is met with a boot to the face.
Slut Monkey - ... and so I said to her... wait...that's MY half can of triple baked beans. Gimme
my cookies back too bitch!
Jake - AHHH HAHAHAHAHAHA
Emily - Announcers. That is our job. Are you
even watching the match?
Jake - ... the baked beans man... they make
the story...
Connor steps back as Lucas falls face first from
where he was just standing up. Connor picks up the stunned Lucas and lifts him straight up... and drops him
into a piledriver. Connor stands up to a cheering crowd. The lifts his arms up and gets greeted with a
low blow. When he turns around holding uhh... himself Lucas picks him up right into a Death Valley driver. Both men fall right down... and neither gets up
right away. The ref looks at both men... and Connor begins to stirs. Slowly him and Lucas drag their way up. Connor stands up and looks over at Lucas... who
has just found his way to his feet.
Emily - Looks like both men are just going to
kill each other.
Jake - Or kiss each other.
Slut Monkey - Obviously a combo of the two.
Both men quickly find the middle of the ring and
Lucas simply grabs Connor and leans back quickly performing a very fast suplex... which he rolls into a pin.
1... 2... Connor jumps right out of the hold. He
picks Lucas up from the ground that he didn't stand up from... and tosses him into the ropes. Lucas
runs right into a press slam. He looks to go for the pin... but Lucas landed right on the ropes. He
drags him to the middle of the ring and Lucas doesn't even stir. Both men seem to drained... and then the
lights flicker.
Slut Monkey - Shit... I forgot to pay the bill again. Wait... this isn't my house!
Emily - Did you just wake up?
Slut Monkey - Actually little MISS SMARTY PANTS.
I call it... wait... yea waking up.
Jake - No really though... what is going on?
The lights go right back on and Hell Falcon is in
the middle of the ring with a chair... right behind Connor. He swings it at him and then drops the
chair outside. He runs off through the crowd. The ref didn't seem to notice what happened... but Connor
fell and Lucas rolled on top of him. He makes the count...
1... 2... 3! Emily - LUCAS WINS!
Jake - The upset!
Slut Monkey - Whoa whoa whoa...
Slut Monkey gets up and walks into the ring. He
grabs the ref and begins to argue. The heavily booing crowd begins to get silent as Slut Monkey is yelling at
the ref. They go back and forth before the ref yells something and turns to go. Slut Monkey grabs him
and turns him back around... and the ref swings a punch. Slut Monkey ducks and pushes the ref right down.
The ref proceeds to yell as he runs out of the ring. Slut Monkey picks up a mic.
Slut Monkey - We all saw what happened here.
Nobody's going to cheat somebody out of the match like that. Connor was about to win... until Hell Falcon hit him. This is a DQ. Connor wins by DQ.
The crowd cheers as Slut Monkey drops the mic
and almost hits Connor in the head. He mutters an apologyas he leaves the ring around a cheering crowd.
w i n n e r = C O N N O R M A C D A D D Y !
GOONIGHT!
© 2 0 0 4T
u e s d a y N i g h t T i t a n s ™
--Credits--
Opening:
Erik Dean
Match One: Connor MacDaddy
Segment One: Connor MacDaddy
Commercial One: Erik Dean
Match Two: Erik Dean
Match Three: Erik Dean
Main Event: Slut Monkey
Ending: Erik Dean