Wednesday Night War

Maharaja, Drogden, Nathan Locke, The Box, Executioner, Shawn Diamond, Xander Flynn, Matthew Abbott, Eli West and Ben Snyder are already in the ring as "More Human Than Human" by White Zombie hits the loudspeakers. Jeff King and Paul Phillips make their way to the ring together as Chimpo makes the announcement.

Chimpo The Chimp: The following contest is a TAG TEAM BATTLE ROYAL for the SFT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS! Now making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 526 pounds... Jeff King and Paul Philips... PREACH... AND... DESTROY!!!!!

The crowd gives the reknowned tag team a pretty good ovation, more out of respect than actually liking them.

Phil: We're ready for tag team title competition, folks!

Steve: For the first time in a long time, and it appears these fans are happy to see it! Even Preach And Destroy is getting some love out here!

Phil: This crowd is in a frenzy as we prepare for this Tag Team Championship battle royal!

As King and Philips climb into the already crowded ring, there music cuts off and "Youth of the Nation" by P.O.D begins to play. Elite Domination step out on the stage and Chimpo again introduces them as they walk down the ramp.

Chimpo The Chimp: Now making their way to the ring, Venom and Page Michaels... ELITE... DOMINATION!

Venom and Michaels join the others in the ring and there music cuts off. Now "It Takes One To Know One" by The Donnas hits the loudspeakers and the crowd goes wild with cheers as Megan The Monster and Amy Jo Smyth enter the arena. Chimpo, who has the mic in one hand and appears to be grabbing at his crotch area with the other, jumps up and down excitedly as he happily makes the introduction. Megan and Amy Jo stand just there on the stage, watching disgustedly.

Chimpo The Chimp: And last but certainly not least, Megan and Amy Jo... HELL'S... BABES!

Megan and Amy laugh. Someone at ringside then pulls Chimpo aside and whispers something to him as Megan and Amy Jo begin to walk down the aisle, waving to their fans

Chimpo The Chimp: Correction, I've just been reminded that it's Hell's BELLAS. So now making their way to the ring... Megan and Amy Jo... HELL'S... BELLAS!

Before Megan and Amy Jo even make it to the ring, the men in the ring begin to brawl. Punches are being thrown and people are trying in vain to toss people out as Megan and AJ now run down the rest of the ramp and slide into the ring.

Paul Philips is pounding on Page Michaels and throws him out of the ring, but between the top and middle ropes. Paul climbs out between the top and middle ropes as well, following Michaels out to the floor. Philips grabs Michaels and slams his face into the ringpost.

Steve: Whoa! Messiah's kicking some major ass here in the early going!

Paul Philips now military presses Page Michaels over his head on the outside and drops him hard face and throat first across the security wall. Some fans reach over and pat Phillips on the shoulder and back.

Phil: Keep in mind that neither Philips or Michaels went over the top rope, so both men and their respective teams are still in this match. As for them, any of this is perfectly legal. You can't be disqualified, you must go over the top rope or you're still in the match.

Back in the ring, The Box appears to be kicking everyone's ass. The Box is "jumping" up and down on a fallen Amy Jo when suddenly Jeff King grabs it(?!) from behind and chucks it over the top rope, sending it sailing out onto the ramp.

Phil: Oh no! There goes The Box!

Venom has knocked down Megan The Monster with a hard forearm and is stomping her repeatedly. Megan rolls out of the ring under the bottom the rope and Venom climbs out between the middle rope and top rope, following her out to the floor.

Steve: Uh oh! Megan and Venom are right out here in front of us!

Phil: I don't see why Megan calls herself a "Monster." She's a hottie!

Venom grabs Megan's head and slams her face into the announce table.

Phil: Ooh! Her pretty face!

Megan becomes angry and responds with a violent haymaker that actually staggers Venom. Megan shakes her hand from the pain, but Venom is left holding his jaw in surprise and leaning against the ring apron. Just then, Amy Jo does a baseball slide dropkick under the bottom rope that catches Venom in the back and causes him to stagger forward. Megan, having seen Amy coming, manages to catch him with a drop toe hold that sends him hard face first into the announce table!

Steve: Impressive move from Amy Jo!

Phil: Never mind that! Our announce table is taking a beating out here!

Back in the ring, Nathan Locke is beating on Eli West of 2 Tough 2 Tame, not realizing The Box was thrown out.

Phil: Isn't he supposed to be out of here?!

Steve: Hey, I just thought of something.

Phil: Wow! You?! Thought?! That's got to be a first!

Steve: Ugh. Well, don't the rules of a battle royal say that both FEET have to touch the floor for someone to be eliminated?

Phil: Yeah... not sure I get where you're going with this...

Steve: Well, The Box technically HAS NO FEET. Therefore, Nathan Locke and he could theoretically still be in this match.

Phil: Uhhh... RULE CHECK! Rule check on aisle one! We need a rule check out here!

As Nathan Locke is working over Eli West against the ropes, both Xander Flynn and Matthew Abbott of Normality run and dump Locke over the top rope to the floor, sending West with him!

Phil: Never mind!

Steve: Yeah, that takes care of that issue. Now we KNOW that Locke-Box is out of here!

Chimpo The Chimp: 2 TOUGH 2 TAME has been eliminated! LOCKE-BOX has been eliminated!

Steve: We OFFICIALLY have our first eliminations of the match!

Phil: I wish there were EOR members in this match! I guess I'll have to settle for The Holocaust! GO P&D!

Steve: Still an EOR brown- noser? Some things never change!

Phil: Oh shut up!

Steve: Well it appears Elite Domination isn't going to be eliminated any time soon. Or Hell's Bellas. Both members of those teams are on the floor!

Indeed Paul Philips is still brawling with Page Michaels on the outside as both Amy Jo and Megan work over Venom.

Phil: All five of them are out here, but none of them went over the top rope. They're all legal, and right now it doesn't look good for Elite Domination!

Page Michaels is out on his feet, trying to stagger away from Paul Philips, who has been assaulting him repeatedly with a kendo stick. Michaels staggers up the ramp, but Philips throws the cane to the ground and grabs him by the hair. Dragging him back to ringside, Philips rolls Michaels back into the ring and climbs in himself. Picking Michaels up in a sort of double leg, Paul Philips drives Page hard into the mat with a spinebuster.

Steve: OH what a spinebuster!

Phil: Preach And Destroy, baby! Preach And Destroy!

Michaels manages to roll back out of the ring- under the bottom rope- but Philips decides not to follow. Instead, Paul focuses on 2 Tough 2 Tame member Ben Snyder who had been laid out by a "Trifecta" from Drogden prior to his team's elimination and is still laying in the ring. Philips, unaware of the elimination of Eli West, pulls Snyder to his feet and begins to clobber him with thunderous right hands to the head. The repeated haymakers to the temple bust Snyder open and Philips sends Snyder to the opposite corner with a hard Irish whip.

Bouncing of the turnbuckle pads, Snyder staggers right into another double leg and spinebuster from Philips. Paul then lifts Ben up in a fireman's carry, which he quickly turns into an ace crusher.

Phil: There's some of that innovative offense from Paul Philips!

Steve: Yeah, but Snyder's not even in the match anymore!

Phil: So? What part of "Destroy" don't you understand? It's The Holocaust, baby! Preach And DESTROY!

Lifting him up, Philips unnecessarily dumps Snyder over the top rope and to the floor.

Phil: Happy now?

Meanwhile, Dissident Movement is brawling with Normality and Jeff King is just watching all of this unfold. Hell's Bellas and Elite Domination are still on the floor, although still legal in the match.

With Dissident Movement, Normality and Preach And Destroy left in the ring, Hell's Bellas continue to do a number on Elite Domination on the floor.

Steve: Wow, Elite Domination is getting ELITELY DOMINATED by Megan and Amy Jo!

Phil: Clever. NOT!

Dissident Movement and Normality continue to go at each other in the ring. King and Philips shrug and climb out through the middle rope. Walking over to the announce table, they take sites on either side of Phil and Steve at the announce table. Jeff puts on a headset.

Steve: Wait, what are you guys doing here? You still have a match!

Jeff King: What do you think we are? Stupid? There are five teams left here. Hell's Bellas and Elite Domination are beating the Hell out of each other. Dissident Movement and Normality are beating the Hell out of each other. Why should we get involved? We're picking our spots. We aren't a legendary tag team for nothing. We didn't become the GREATEST tag team in SFT HISTORY by being STUPID.

Phil: Ha! Steve got owned!

Steve: Shut up!

Jeff King: Now who got owned?!

Megan and Venom now take their brawl through the crowd, disappearing into the masses.

Phil: Hey, something just occurred to me. Where the Hell are Executioner and Diamond? They were out here, I saw them.

Steve: Good point. They seem to disappeared. I'm pretty sure they weren't eliminated. Hey Chimpo!

Chimpo goes over to the announce table.

Steve: Were Executioner and Shawn Diamond eliminated?

Chimpo The Chimp: No, they weren't.

Steve: Well, now that that's been confirmed...

Chimpo walks away.

Phil: Well, now we know that they're still in this match. Theoretically. But where'd they go?! They've disappeared!

Jeff King: Who cares?! They suck!

Steve: Not exactly rave reviews there.

Meanwhile, back in the ring, Drogden has laid out Matthew Abbott of Normality with the "Trifecta" and Maharaja has been taken down with a spear by Xander Flynn. Xander pulls Maharaja to his feet and attempts to whip him to the ropes, but Maharaja holds onto Xander, pulls Flynn toward him and puts him down hard with a BK bomb.

Phil: Looks like this is going to start resembling a slightly more normal match now.

Steve: Yeah, earlier people were just trying to dump people out as quickly as possible. Now it looks like these remaining teams- with the exception of your buddies P&D here, Phil- are going to go at it for awhile.

Jeff King: Buddies?

Phil: I was rooting for you since there weren't any EOR guys in this thing.

Jeff King: Ah, I see.

In the ring, Flynn and Abbott are back on their feet and have begun to fight back against Maharaja and Drogden. Flynn is firing up with right hands to Maharaja as Abbott wears down Drogden with kicks to the mid- section and knife edge chops across the chest.

Abbott backs Drogden into a corner with the chops and climbs to the second rope after a final knife edge chop. Playing to the crowd, Abbott begins to utilize the ever popular ten count punches. As always, the crowd counts off each punch.

Crowd: 1!... 2!... 3!...

Meanwhile, as this is going on, Maharaja ducks one of Flynn's haymakers and waits for him to turn around. Xander does, only to be met with a climb up enziguiri, cracking him across the back of the head.

Crowd: ... 8!... 9!... 10!

After completing the onslaught, Abbott makes the rookie mistake of staying on the second rope to play up to the crowd some more. Drogden punishes the newcomer for this bad judgement by carrying him out of the corner in a sort of double leg lift and dropping him across Drogden's knee with an inverted atomic drop.

Phil: For someone who had to sell an X-BOX just to get here, this guy really shouldn't be screwing around in there!

Drogden quickly lifts Abbott up in a fireman's carry and drills him with a death valley driver. After an impressive standing shooting star press, Drogden pulls the fallen Abbott to his feet. Matthew is out on his feet and Drogden delivers a brainbuster for good measure.

Realizing that Xander Flynn has gotten back to his feet and is now in one corner attempting to toss Maharaja out, Drogden hurries over to save his partner. Grabbing Flynn by the hair, Drogden pulls him back away from Maharaja and forces him to bend forward before snapping him back, sending him hard to the mat.

Steve: Aggressive assault by Drogden there and not a moment to soon, Maharaja was in some serious trouble!

Phil: Ya' think?!

Maharaja and Drogden now double team Flynn, hitting him with a big double vertical suplex. Drogden follows this up by drilling him with a devastating snap powerbomb!

Steve: That's it! Normality is out of here! There's no way they can stay in now, they've both been laid out big time!

Phil: Wait a second!

Page Michaels and Amy Jo now slide into the ring. Page goes after Drogden and Amy goes after Maharaja. Since they both attack their target from behind, both are able to knock the Dissident Movement members down with running forearms. Michaels stomps Drodgden repeatedly as Amy Jo kicks Maharaja swiftly in the ribs. AJ mounts Maharaja and begins delivering wild lefts and rights across the head that cause Maharaja to try to cover up, blocking some but missing others.

Meanwhile, Page Michaels executes a textbook neckbreaker on Drogden and follows up by pulling him back to his feet only to take him back down with a side Russian leg sweep.

Steve: Ya' know, Megan and Venom better get back here soon. There partners are doing fine right now, but if they get tossed out than Megan and Venom are done, too!

Phil: Another BRILLIANT observation from the peanut gallery! Thank you, Steve!

Jeff King: And totally random, too. Tell me, do you ENJOY making a fool out of yourself?

Steve: Uhhh... maybe. What's it to ya'?

Jeff and Phil just shake their heads. Paul Philips is still sitting next to Steve, watching stoically and silently without a headset even on.

Jeff King: Hey, you going to join us, Paul?

Paul puts the last remaining headset on, seemingly begrudgingly.

Paul Philips: What do you want from me, Jeff? This isn't a time for talk, ya' know.

Jeff King: Calm down there, big fella. We'll get in on the action. When the time is right.

Steve: He seems pretty steamed, Jeff. What's up?

Jeff King: Oh, I think he just wants to start pounding people. He'll get his chance, but you know what they say. Only fools rush in.

Steve: I thought you guys were a little more... tame... coming into this thing. You know, a little bit less intense?

Jeff King: Paul hasn't been in the ring in awhile. It's a competitiveness thing. He wants to fight. It's what we do. We're fighters. But you wouldn't understand that, would you, Steve?

Phil: Yeah, you wouldn't understand that Steve.

Steve: Like you would, Phil!

Phil: Hey, I WAS a wrestler!

Steve: Oh yeah, you were a GREAT wrestler...

In the ring, Page Michaels has just dropped Drogden with a version of Venom's finisher "The Confession" and Amy Jo has countered a Maharaja suplex attempt with a DDT. Just then we see Megan The Monster climbing warily over the security wall on the outside.

Steve: Hey, it looks like Megan got the better of Venom backstage or wherever the heck they were.

Then we see Venom following behind her.

Steve: Or not...

Back in the ring, with Maharaja and Drogden down, Page Michaels and Amy Jo Smyth meet up in the center in the ring. Michaels just grins at Amy Jo lustily, who glares at him angrily. AJ runs to the ropes, bounces off and hits a clothesline that merely causes Michaels to become off balance and take a single step back. Michaels smirks at her mockingly. Amy Jo runs to the ropes again, bounces off again and this time connects with a running forearm that simply causes him to turn his head to his right from her right forearm hitting the left side of his face and makes his knees buckle just slightly.

Meanwhile out on the floor, Megan tries to get away from Venom, who grabs the timekeeper's steel chair, folds it up and slams it across her back right in front of the announce table. Megan collapses to the floor, holding her back and Venom just stands over her with a sick grin on his face. Dropping the chair, he then turns and begins to trash talk Jeff King, who stands up with the headset on and begins to yell back.

In the ring, Page Michaels rights himself and smiles at Amy Jo yet again, still mocking her. AJ has taken a step back, but surprises the arrogant Michaels with a swift kick to the groin!

Paul Philips: Ooh! He'll be singing soprano for awhile!

Phil: Ya' like that, huh?

Paul Philips: Damn right I do.

Phil: Hells yeah! Preach & Destroy all the way!

Page's eyes bug out like they're about to pop out of his head as he grabs at his crotch area and collapses to the mat in pain. Amy Jo just points a finger at him and says "That's what you get!"

Steve: He deserved it, too.

Phil: How do you figure that?

Steve: Well just look at the way he was looking at that sweet, innocent little Southern belle Amy Jo. It's not right. She's a beautiful lady and should be treated with respect.

Paul Philips: This coming from... a virgin?

Phil: HA! You got OWNED! AGAIN!

Steve: Let's just focus on the match, huh?

As Page is still on the mat, whimpering in pain, AJ adds insult to injury by beginning to stomp away at the prone Michaels. Meanwhile, Venom is still jaw- jacking with Jeff King at ringside.

Venom: Come on, tough guy! You've been hiding over here like a couple of cowards! Why don't you get in the match?!

Jeff King: Speak for yourself! You'd better start paying attention to your other opponents!

When Jeff sees that, Venom appears to see something move out the corner of his eye. Looking to his left, he turns and... SMACK!

A vile chair shot cracks loudly across Venom's skull at the hands of Megan The Monster, who had apparently managed to grab the chair that Venom had discarded earlier. Jeff King retakes his seat at the announce table, grinning and laughing.

Sliding into the ring with the chair in hand, Megan stands up and Amy Jo sees the chair in her hand. AJ points to Michaels and grins deviously. Megan returns the grin and nods. Standing Michaels up, Amy Jo holds him "dragon" style as Megan measures him up.

Pulling back, Megan swings the chair with all her might. However, Michaels manages to breaks free of Amy Jo's grasp and Megan's shot accidently catches AJ pretty hard.

Steve: Oh no!

Phil: Not Amy Jo!

Amy Jo flops to the mat and Megan releases the chair with one hand, putting it on her head. Quickly gathering her wits, Megan turns, grabs the chair with both hands and pulls it back over her head. Page turns to her and gets blasted by Megan's chair shot!

Steve: Megan and Amy Jo aren't playing fair today, huh?

Jeff King: Who said anything about fair? It's a battle royal and you do what it takes to win those Tag Team Championships.

Paul Philips: EX- ACTLY!

Phil: Preach it, brothers! This ain't no ballet!

Steve: This is true. Megan and AJ aren't as dainty at they may appear.

Megan slams the chair down and the ref slides it out of the ring, not that that's particularly necessary. Just then Maharaja, Drogden, Xander Flynn and Matthew Abbott each make it to their feet in one of the four corners, having spent all this time scattered around in the ring, on the mat from previous poins in the match. Drogden, deep into his second match of the night, is clearly feeling the effects.

Xander Flynn quickly goes after Drogden and Maharaja decides he may as well go after Matthew Abbott. Flynn begins to stomp Drogden down in that corner and Maharaja throws punches and knife edge chops alternately at Abbott in the other. Megan originally appears willing to state out of any of it as the odd person out, but then shrugs and begins to stomp on Drogden with Flynn.

Eventually Drogden somehow manages to get to his feet and starts to fight out of the double team, throwing rights at Xander and at Megan. At the same time Abbott battles back against Maharaja with rights of his own, but Maharaja ducks under one of these punches and when Abbott turns around takes him down with a sort of double leg takedown. Holding the legs, Maharaja falls back and slingshots Abbott face first into the top turnbuckle.

Meanwhile, Drogden somehow has Megan and Flynn both on the defensive now. Whipping Megan into the corner he'd just fought out of, Drogden then bulldogs Flynn down before going to the corner opposite where Megan stands. Running across the ring, Drogden squashes the much smaller Megan in the corner with an avalanche.

Steve: What a devastating splash on Megan! She may be out!

Phil: You got that right! Drogden outweighs Meg by almost 100 pounds!

Steve: 98, to be exact.

Jeff King: What? You like 98 Degrees?

Steve: No, what I SAID was "98, TO BE EXACT!"

Jeff King: Okay, okay. No need to get testy. I wasn't listening. I was paying attention to the match. It's really starting to get interesting.

Steve: Yeah, you could almost forget that it's a battle royal! (He pauses) Hey, where's the rim shot?!

Jeff King: Ewww... you give rim jobs?

Steve: Oy vey, let's just get back to the task at hand, shall we?

Megan goes down limply to the mat and Drogden goes back to work on Flynn. Pulling Xander to his feet, Drogden scoops him up and executes the BLACK BIRD DRIVER! Turning back to Megan, he lifts her up and does the same.
Maharaja, meanwhile, has lifted Abbott to the top rope facing the crowd and now delivers a monsterous back suplex from the top rope!

Drogden now turns his attention back to Flynn as Matthew and Megan roll desperately out of the ring. Front- facelocking him, Drogden lifts Flynn and sets him on the top turnbuckle. Climbing to the top himself, Drogden leaps onto Flynn's shoulders, delivers a hurricanrana (AKA frankensteiner), springs back to the top rope and lands a beautiful frog splash elbow drop right to Flynn's heart.

Steve: He calls that the "Double Jeopardy" and it's quite possibly the most impressive maneuver in SFT today!

Phil: Damn right! Maybe ever!

As this happens, Maharaja is tripped and pulled out of the ring by Matthew Abbott. Drogden now pulls Xander back to his feet and front- facelocks him again.

Steve: Now what?! Another Trifecta?!

Drogden does appear to be going for a Trifecta, but it turns out that Flynn is too close to the ropes. Blocking the first suplex attempt, Xander counters by lifting Drogden up in a suplex position of his own. Falling back against the ropes, Flynn lets go of Drogden, dumping him over the top and out to the floor!

Steve: Oh my God! What a counter by Xander Flynn! 'Raja and Drog are out of here!

Chimpo The Chimp: DISSIDENT MOVEMENT has been ELIMINATED!

Phil: Do you realize that is technically just our third elimination of the match? God only knows where Executioner and Diamond have disappeared to!

Jeff King: That was pretty impressive there by Flynn. Get ready Paul. It's about time we did our thing.

Matthew Abbott rolls back into the ring and suddenly Page Michaels and Venom slide in as well. Abbott locks up with Michaels. Flynn locks up with Venom, who is bleeding rom Megan's violent chair shot. Abbott and Flynn put Michaels and Venom, respectively, in side headlocks. Michaels and Venom then back Abbott and Flynn against the ropes and push them off to the other side. Abbott and Flynn bounce off the ropes and right into stereo shoulder tackles from Michaels and Venom.

Venom now starts doing a serious number on Xander Flynn, but Page Michaels gets into trouble when Megan slides in. She and Abbott double team him and immediately beat him down. Abbott then lifts Michaels onto his shoulders in an electric chair position and Megan goes up top. Jumping off, she clobbers Page with a flying clothesline as Abbott falls backwards.

Steve: OH MY! The good old DOOMSDAY DEVICE!

Phil: Ah, it's a classic!

Steve: Yeah, and they aren't even partners!

Unfortunately for Abbott, Venom has drilled Flynn with his DELIVERANCE finisher once already and now has him up for a second. Before Flynn can realize what's happening- or even get back to his feet- Venom does a version of the DELIVERANCE... TOSSING XANDER ALL THE WAY OVER THE TOP ROPE AND HARD TO THE FLOOR BELOW!

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

Steve: Holy shit is right! Venom just used that crucifix powerbomb, released it and let Flynn go crashing all the way to the outside! That was sick!

Paul Philips: Maybe that Venom guy ain't so bad after all! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Steve: Matthew Abbott is OUT!

Phil: No duh, Steve. Normality is eliminated.

Chimpo The Chimp: NORMALITY has been ELIMINATED!

Phil: See?

Steve: No, I mean he's OUT as in OUT COLD! KNOCKED out!

Jeff King: I guess you could say Normality's ELIMINATION wasn't very "NORMAL!"

Paul Philips: Yeah, Matthew Abbott will have some AB- NORMALITIES after that brutality!

Steve: Very funny, guys!

Phil: Aren't they?

Steve: Ever heard of sarcasm, Phil?

Phil: NOPE!

Flynn, upon hearing the announcement, gets up in shock. Reluctantly he leaves the ring and begins to walk up the aisle when he remembers his partner. Going back to ringside, Xander goes over to check on his teammate.

Meanwhile, Megan is in the ring alone with Elite Domination's Venom and Page Michaels. That is, until Amy Jo slides in and stands beside her.

Steve: Check out this showdown!

Phil: How the heck did Amy Jo get back in this thing?! Megan cleaned her clock!

Steve: By accident, mind you.

Phil: Sure it was an accident, but that doesn't change the fact that she got blasted with a st...

Before Phil can finish his sentence, Megan and Amy Jo suddenly get knocked down from behind!

Phil: What the...

Steve: HEY! It's Executioner and Shawn Diamond! Where the Hell did they come from?!

Phil: Beats the Hell out of me, but that means it's a four- on- two with Elite Domination on Hell's Bellas!

Jeff King: Not for long!

He and Messiah take the headsets off as Venom and Executioner stomp on Megan and Page Michaels and Shawn Diamond stomp on Amy Jo. Messiah gets in and quickly clotheslines Executioner down hard as Venom continues to focus single- mindedly on Megan. King spears Diamond.

King and Philips then slam Executioner and Diamond's heads together. Philips grabs Executioner in a fireman's carry, which he turns into a piledriver.

Steve: There's more of that innovative offense from Messiah Paul Philips!

Phil: P&D all the way, baby!

Diamond staggers around the ring and eventually right into a Nirvana "Super Kick!"

Steve: OUCH!

Phil: THAT SMARTS!

Steve: Right on the button!

Not to be out done by Venom's earlier brutality, Philips now grabs the fallen Executioner and does something perhaps equally unthinkable.

Steve: OH MY LORD! Wheelbarrow suplex CLEAR OVER THE TOP ROPE!

Phil: That does it for X- Squared... if you can even call 'em that...

Chimpo The Chimp: EXECUTIONER and SHAWN DIAMOND have been ELIMINATED!

Steve: And then... THERE WERE THREE!

Venom and Michaels, having stomped Megan and Amy Jo down pretty badly, now turn their attention to Philips and King. Venom charges Philips and tries to punch him, but Philips blocks and Venom gets punched instead. Paul follows with a boot to the gut, followed by a forearm across the back when Venom doubles over from the kick. Venom goes down as King and Michaels go into a collar and elbow tie- up.

As much as they struggle, neither King or Michaels can get the upper hand in the tie- up and they break. Meanwhile, Philips lifts Venom up and drops him face first into the top turnbuckle with a snake eyes. King and Michaels lock up again, but again neither one can get any kind of advantage. They break again.

Jeff King and Page Michaels are staring each other down in the middle of the when suddenly Amy Jo comes up behind Michaels and takes him down with a chop block. Grabbing Michaels' legs, King quickly puts him in a figure four!

Steve: DEVILLOCK!

Phil: But what good does that do him?!

As Michaels writhes in the figure four, Megan suddenly comes flying seemingly out of know where with an incredible frog splash!

Steve: THE MONSTER MASH!

Phil: Page Michaels is in a whole WORLD of trouble!

King releases the hold on Michaels as Philips hangs Venom in a tree of woe in the same corner he'd "snake eyed" him. King then grabs Michaels and puts him in the tree of woe in the corner opposite Venom.

Phil: P&D has just hung Elite Domination like Christmas decorations!

Megan stands in front of Michaels and Amy Jo stands in front of Venom. The ladies stand facing each other, nod, run forward and right passed each other. Megan delivers a baseball slide dropkick to Venom and Amy Jo does the same to Michaels.

Phil: Something Wicked This Way Comes!

Steve: In stereo! Venom's nose could be broken!

Phil: Michael caught his right in the temple! And I don't mean Messiah's kind.

Pulling Venom out of the tree of woe, King drags him to the middle of the ring and locks on the DEVILLOCK for no apparent reason.

Phil: What the heck is he thinking? There are no submissions!

Steve: Maybe not, but you can damn sure soften up your opponent with the hold. Maybe even make him pass out.

Phil: Decent point.

Megan and Amy Jo stomp a defenseless Michaels until finally he gets out of the tree of woe position. Pulling him to his feet, the girls work together to toss him over and out!

Chimpo The Chimp: ELITE DOMINATION has ben ELIMINATED!

Steve: We're down to our FINAL TWO TEAMS!

Phil: Yes, we are! And NOW that figure four is meaningless.

King releases the hold and Venom rolls out of the ring, grabbing his legs in pain. As he and Michaels limp defeatedly and sorely to the back, Hell's Bellas and Preach And Destroy meet heads up in the center of the ring. King offers his hand to Megan, and Philips does the same to Amy Jo. AJ shakes Philips' hand and Megan cautiously shakes King's.

Phil: Great. Nice sportsmanship. NOW KILL EACH OTHER!

The four competitors are clearly exhausted at this point- Megan and Amy Jo more so- but after shaking hands they do resume with the match. Running towards Philips, Amy Jo takes him down with a dropkick to the knee. Meanwhile, King challenges Megan to a test of strength.

Steve: Tough guy.

Megan accepts the test of strength, but despite her best efforts gets easily overpowered at the outset. Giving up on that idea quickly, Megan just buries her knee in King's gut.

Phil: That'll work.

The knee doubles King over and Megan quickly runs to the ropes, connecting with a big axe kick to knock king down. Not letting him get back up, Megan grabs King's left arm and applies an armbar.

Meanwhile, Amy Jo has continued to work on the right knee of Philips that she had dropkicked a moment ago. Immediately after the dropkick had put him down, Amy lifted the right leg up and spiked the knee into the mat. She did that twice more, and now she has rolled him onto his back and is delivering kicks to the inside of that same right knee.

Amy Jo delivers three quick elbow drops consecutively the the knee of Philips. Standing up again, AJ holds the leg up and out to Paul's side, then leaps up and delivers a leg drop across the knee.

Steve: This is like a clinic here from the new girl, Amy Jo! I'm impressed!

Phil: She really is wearing down that knee of Philips. He is a big guy that does rely on his power a bit. That could be a huge factor, especially the longer this match goes on.

Standing up yet again, Amy Jo continues holding Messiah's right leg and quickly turns him over and into a half Boston crab on that targeted right leg.

Steve: Your boys are in trouble, Phil!

Phil: I see that!

Meanwhile, Megan has dragged Jeff King to a corner and stomped him down to the mat. Holding the top rope, she begins to run in place on Jeff's chest and shoulders.

Stuck in a half crab in the center of the ring, Paul Philips appears to be fading out from the combination of pain and exhaustion. After he's been in the hold for nearly two minutes, he begins to tap out as the hold takes it toll on him.

In the corner, King had started to get to his feet, but Megan took him out of the equation with a low blow.

Steve: Paul Philips is tapping, but that's no good! They need to throw him out!

Phil: Are you saying he's trash?

Steve: You KNOW what I MEANT, idiot!

Phil: Hey, that's not nice. You'll be getting coal for Christmas, meanie!

Amy Jo releases the submission hold, and Paul start to warily get to his feet, clutching at his right leg. Amy Jo acts quickly, nailing a dropkick to his back. Philips staggers forward, landing throat and chest first across the middle rope!

Steve: Uh- oh! Could it be?!

Megan walks to the center of the ring and signals for "The 'Round 'Bout!" Amy steps aside and Meg runs to the ropes opposite where Paul Philips is stuck.

Steve: THE 'ROUND 'BOUT!

Bouncing off those ropes, Megan runs full tilt towards Philips!

Phil: OH NO!

Suddenly Paul manages to pop out from between the ropes, drop down and pull the top rope! Megan's momentum carries her over the top rope and sends her tumbling to the floor!

Phil: OH MY GOD! THEY PULLED IT OFF!

Steve: WOW! Paul Philips bridged the top rope as Megan went for The 'Round 'Bout and Megan went out! What an end to this Tag Team Championship Battle Royal! I can't believe it! Messiah looked for all the world like he was on dream street, like he had nothing left in the tank!

Chimpo The Chimp: HERE are your WINNERS and NEW... SFT Tag Team CHAMPIONS... Jeff KING... and Paul PHILIPS... PREACH... AND... DESTROY!

Phil: Great job of playing possum, I guess!

In the ring, Jeff King and Paul Philips are handed the tag title belts and they embrace in celebration as "More Human Than Human" by White Zombie plays. The crowd cheers both in congradulations to the new Tag Team Champions and for the spectacular match by all of the participants.